


Kiss and Tell

by Up_sideand_down



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Romance, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-27
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-07-23 06:40:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20003956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Up_sideand_down/pseuds/Up_sideand_down
Summary: There's all sorts of secrets about the Nibelheim Incident...or lack thereof. But the biggest one is how Cloud and Sephiroth see each other.





	Kiss and Tell

**Author's Note:**

  * For [modeoheim](https://archiveofourown.org/users/modeoheim/gifts).



> I'm both deeply satisfied with it and determined to write more...but I hope you like it Tobi!

Sephiroth decided he regretted asking Corporal Cloud Strife to go on this mission with him and Lieutenant Fair. Logically, it was perfectly fine that he asked Corporal Strife to go with them. After all, he had kept his head at Nibelhiem when Genesis arrived begging for help. He didn’t say a word about where they had sent Genesis and Angeal or even that he even saw Genesis or Angeal. He was more than competent, good at materia, could hold his own in a scuffle, and had a good head on his shoulders. 

The one thing Sephiroth regretted…was the funny feeling he got in his stomach whenever he looked at Corporal Strife. He wasn’t sure what it was before…but now he knew…he shouldn’t have ignored it. 

He felt it right now sitting around a fire and watching Strife laugh at whatever Lieutenant Fair was saying. It made something inside him twist and tie and untie itself over and over. It did the same to his tongue. He desperately wanted to say something…but when he tried nothing at all came out. 

Strife looked at him across the fire still smiling. Sephiroth had no control over what his face did and he hoped he was doing something close to a smile back. 

The worst though…was the fact that he could not say Strife’s name. That night after they doused the fire. Lieutanant Fair and Strife went to the tent while Sephiroth took the first watch (searching for a pack of Zoloms that were roaming too close to Edge and Midgar). He stared out up at the sky and mouthed it. 

_Cloud._ The word itself brought the strangest sensation through him and he felt heat rising to his cheeks, making the corners of his lips turn up. He crossed his arms and rested them upon the lookout post they had set up for tonight. He rested his head on them. 

He should not have ignored that feeling…because now he knew that he really liked _Cloud_ and he didn’t know what to do about it.

* * *

Cloud knew exactly why Sephiroth always called him to be the infantry support. At least…he thought he did. The easy answer was Nibelheim. A lot of things changed after Nibelheim…but most of it was Sephiroth’s loyalty to ShinRa…now just a lack thereof.

Genesis Rhapsodos had been waiting in the Nibelhiem reactor and when he saw Sephiroth and Zack…he begged for help. Angeal Hewley was dying and he didn’t know what to do. No one could help them, he had no where else to turn. 

And Sephiroth did.

For 18 very terse and very tense hours Cloud used all his field medic training and materia knowledge to keep Angeal alive. He didn’t know what Zack and Sephiroth were doing, but Cloud didn’t ask. Angeal muttered things about monsters and Genesis sat by him sobbing and telling him to stop talking like that. Things were going to be alright. Right Cloud? You’re going to be fine. We’re not monsters, we’re just a bit ill is all. It’s not like our own body cells are tearing themselves apart. 

Cloud smiled and nodded, but he suspected Genesis needed that reassurance more than Angeal. But eventually Sephiroth and Zack returned…with some guy in a red cape. Cloud administered the injection because after 18 hours of being semi conscious Angeal decided he trusted only Cloud. 

An hour later Angeal was limping, had a full meal in his stomach and said he was ready to go. Sephiroth gave Genesis his injection. He was saying something to the redhead, but Cloud thought it more discreet not to eavesdrop. That and Angeal kept telling him his nursing and magic was absolutely stellar and he could not have asked for better care. Cloud might have puffed out his chest at that. 

And then Angeal, Genesis, and the red cape guy, who introduced himself as Vincent, were all leaving. Vincent pulled Cloud aside, right before he left. He put Cloud’s PHS into a burner Genesis had, and told Cloud he would be their point of contact…if he didn’t mind keeping secrets. Cloud nodded at that. 

He knew a lot about keeping secrets. 

And then he hadn’t heard from them in 3 months. 

Until yesterday. But yesterday had seen them all through Midgar. There was no privacy, no place where there wasn’t ears. 

But 2:30 in the morning next to a swamp…that was as safe as any. Especially since Sephiroth had taken the first watch. He’d notice anything. 

Sephiroth looked up a few meters before Cloud thought he would hear him. He raised one hand in a silent greeting as Cloud approached. 

“It’s quiet tonight,” he said, “not much movement.” Cloud nodded and set up his own chair next to Sephiroth’s. He yawned once looking out over the marshfields. They were kind of lovely out in the moonlight, barely a ripple in sight. 

“My mother called,” Cloud said carefully, “said she was taking a vacation in Mideel.” Sephiroth blinked once, seemingly trying to recall the bit of codewords they had established. Then his shoulders relaxed. Cloud guessed he had been wondering if his friends had survived thus far at all. Cloud had been wondering the same. 

“I’ve heard the area is good for the body and soul,” Sephiroth said, “I’m happy to hear she’s taking care of herself.”

“Yeah that’s what she thought you’d say,” Cloud said, “her new boyfriend thinks it will help.” Sephiroth snorted at that…possibly imagining Mrs. Strauss dating Vincent Valentine. They would make a very odd pair. 

“If she calls back…” Sephiroth trailed off, “…just let her know I’m glad I was able to help.” 

“I’ll tell them,” Cloud said. The quiet stretched between them as serenely as the fog rose from the waters. 

“In case I forgot to tell you,” Sephiroth said, “I am very…grateful…for your assistance in Nibelhiem. You didn’t have to follow my orders.”

“Rather follow yours than ShinRas,” Cloud said, “I’m not very cut out for the military life. But I’ve been told I’m a very capable nurse.” Sephiroth’s lips twitched. Cloud suspected it was his way of giggling. 

“Regardless,” Sephiroth said, “you did aid and abet a wanted criminal…two in fact…because I asked…and…” Sephiroth’s words left him. 

“You’re welcome,” Cloud said. Sephiroth exhaled and relaxed again. 

“After this,” Sephiroth started, “would you…if you don’t have any other…do you want to get coffee?” 

“Sure,” Cloud said, “I’m sure Zack would like it too.”

“I didn’t mean…of course if you wanted Lieutenant Fair to join…you are friends, I keep forgetting,” Sephiroth cleared his throat. Cloud finally put a word to what Sephiroth was doing: He was babbling. 

“Sir…did you…want to take me on a coffee date?” Cloud asked. 

“That’s…yes,” Sephiroth said, “though I can make it for…friends only?” Cloud couldn’t decide if this was pitiable…or _adorable_. But then it hit him that Sephiroth was asking him out on a date. 

“Why?” Cloud blurted out. 

“Well if you were uncomfortable-“ Sephiroth started. 

“Not the friend date,” Cloud said, “why do you want to date me specifically?” 

“I don’t know,” Sephiroth said, “I think…I like you.” 

“Alright then,” Cloud said. 

“Alright?” 

“We’ll have a date after Zolom Hunting,” Cloud said. It wasn’t like he had to share _everything_ with Sephiroth. I mean…

What date do you bring up that you had top surgery six months ago?

* * *

He was going to die. He was sure of it. Asking had been a spur of the moment thing. He would have berated himself heavily for it…except Cloud said yes. It had worked somehow and Sephiroth wasn’t sure how. He had navigated the worst battlefields imaginable…but this wasn’t a battle, or a war, or even a minor skirmish. This was much worse. This was something he had never done before

This was a date. With the man he really liked. With _Cloud_. 

And with that he nearly toppled over onto his couch like the dramatic women in the bad novels Genesis used to read…hopefully still read. His mind whirred and his heart stuttered, but it was the truth. Cloud had agreed to at least meet with him in a private setting that had nothing at all to do with work. 

He wished so desperately that he had the number to contact Genesis and Angeal. He knew Cloud was given it. He also knew Vincent gave it to Cloud because they wouldn’t monitor Cloud’s calling history. He just wanted to ask them what to do. What should he wear? What should he even say? He couldn’t rely on the Genesis and Angeal in his head. They just weren’t as accurate. 

_Being honest with your feelings will not do any harm,_ Angeal said softly, _if he doesn’t feel the same then the feelings will slowly wane._

_But a bit of wooing never did any harm,_ Genesis butted in, _you should do something nice and sweet for him, for all he’s done and is doing for you._

He tugged at his bangs to get them to stop talking, then had an awful idea. Actually it was a fantastic idea, it just felt awful because he hated asking Zack for help. He had asked Zack for help far too many times and he owed Zack so very deeply. Every time he kept trying to distance himself, put Zack back into the place of Lieutenant Fair…it would blow up in his face. 

But Zack was a good man, Angeal’s student, Genesis’s occasional punching bag…and something else that was just uniquely…Zack. 

Before he knew it he was typing out a message to Zack. He had enough time to feel horrified before the response came. 

_About gods damned time. You’ve been giving him those starry eyes for weeks. Be honest with him. Talk about you, be interested in him, and pay for the coffee since you invited him._

That sounded halfway doable…he just had to not focus so much on the fact that it was _Cloud._

Nevermind, he was going to die.

* * *

Cloud decided he regretted going on a date with Sephiroth. It wasn’t that it was bad. It wasn’t even remotely unpleasant.

It was that it was wonderful. It was that Sephiroth acted like a gentleman…a clumsy super nervous gentleman who looked around that coffee shop with stars in his eyes. That Sephiroth who was the strongest and deadliest thing on this earth…was also the sweetest and most adorable thing Cloud had ever seen. Cloud wasn’t even sure what his type was but Sephiroth was somewhere in there. 

The regret came when they met up to walk down Loveless Avenue…and Sephiroth looked at him with that starry-eyed stare. Then he leaned down. And then he kissed Cloud on the cheek. 

And Cloud almost melted into the damn pavement. No one had ever treated him this way before and he practically swooned every time he saw Sephiroth now. It was like his fanboy days all over again. He didn’t agree to this date thinking he’d get those happy butterflies in his stomach again. Because now it made things complicated. 

Even now just seeing Sephiroth with that soft little smile and twinkling green eyes made two voices start to fight in his head. 

One said to tell him

The other said to enjoy the moment. 

And he had enjoyed so many moments with Sephiroth…but that always made the chant of “tell him, tell him, tell him!” get so much louder. Until finally…

“I should tell you something,” Cloud said, just outside a quiet bookshop. Sephiroth stopped and turned. He had his eye on something inside, but it turned to Cloud anyway. 

“I…have you looked at…my file?” Cloud said, hoping to all the gods there was an easy way out of this. 

“No,” Sephiroth said, “I mean…I thought it would seem weird…like a stalker.” God dammit why did this man have to be so nice. Why couldn’t Cloud date assholes?

“Well…I have…I’m trans,” Cloud said. His heartbeat sounded so loud in his ear drums. Sephiroth blinked. 

“Oh,” Sephiroth said, “Okay.”

“I haven’t…fully transitioned,” Cloud said, “I mean…I feel really happy where I am now with hormones and…stuff…but some people wouldn’t see it as a full transition.”

“Alright,” Sephiroth nodded. 

“Alright?” Cloud said, “that’s it?”

“Oh…” Sephiroth said, “does this mean…we shouldn’t…go out any more?” 

“I thought you wouldn’t want to,” Cloud said, “I thought you’d get weirded out.”

“Not really,” Sephiroth said, “I still…really like you.” 

“What? Really?” Sephiroth’s eyes slipped away from his face looking at the sidewalk just past him. 

“Yeah,” he said, “I’m sorry…but I don’t really mind about that gender stuff. You’re still Cloud.” Good gods above the man was blushing. This wasn’t fair!

“I mean…it’s probably a huge deal with you,” Sephiroth said looking back up, “I just…I know it’s nothing like what you experience but…after the whole Angeal and Genesis fiasco…finding out that we were all test tube babies…I had a real crisis trying to figure out who I am, if I was a monster or a human…and I just decided that I would be a human, that I really felt like one and I was happy being one. So if you say you feel like a man and that you feel happier as a man…then you’re a man.” Cloud stared at Sephiroth a little dumbfounded.

“But…if you don’t want to keep going out with me,” Sephiroth started, “It’s okay. I know I’m a complicated-“ Sephiroth never finished because Cloud leaned up and kissed him full on the mouth. Which was very much worth it because Cloud swore he heard Sephiroth giggle throughout the night.

* * *

Sephiroth sat on the floor handing over the tools as Cloud needed them. He’d met Fenrir before. He’d heard all about how Cloud had gotten this motorcycle. He’d listened intently to how Cloud described modifying and rebuilding it until it was almost perfect. Certainly he hadn’t understood _all_ of the descriptions (and still didn’t) but Cloud did appreciate the effort.

Or, at least Cloud appreciated the help and company as he tried to fix some thingamajig on the bike that Sephiroth had zero knowledge about. He knew wrenches and that’s all Cloud really needed. 

But Cloud did like to chat while he worked…and the subject made Sephiroth…rethink a lot of things. 

“I put in a request to get discharged,” Cloud said. Sephiroth wasn’t expecting it so soon. It made him drop the wrench he was holding as he attempted to organize Cloud’s toolbox.

“Cloud…I mean…I-“ 

“It’s got nothing to do with you…with us,” Cloud said, “I’ve been thinking about doing this for a long time. 

“You have?” 

“Yeah,” Cloud said, wiping his brow, “I just don’t think I’m cut out for the military life. I’m really…after that last mission…I’m just done with ShinRa. Fuck ‘em…y’know.”

“What would you do instead?” Sephiroth asked. 

“Dunno,” Cloud said, “I’ve been thinking about…it’s really dumb, but taking this bike and making like, a delivery service?”

“Delivery?”

“Taking stuff all around the world, seeing it all along the way,” Cloud said, “I’m really just tinkering with little bits…Fenrir could do it. It just sounds nice after being cramped up here in Midgar.” Sephiroth nodded, understanding more. 

“Would be really nice to have someone watching my back while moseying about,” Cloud said a little too nonchalantly. Sephiroth smiled at the ground. 

“It does sound nice,” Sephiroth said, “though the delivery sounds more like an excuse to travel.” 

“So what if it is,” Cloud said, “I’ve got gil saved up, a bike raring to go…and then when I’m done…Strife Delivery Service don’t sound half bad.”

“It has a very nice ring to it,” Sephiroth admitted. 

“But Fenrir can fit two in a pinch,” Cloud said. Sephiroth eyed it carefully. It certainly could. 

“I’d want to think about it,” Sephiroth said. Cloud smiled and nodded, then leaned up and pressed a very firm kiss to Sephiroth’s lips. 

“That’s all I’m asking.”

* * *

Sephiroth opened up a box and started putting some of the items inside into where they now belonged. There was plenty of space for them after all. He heard the door open behind him and Cloud heft another one onto the bed.

“You don’t have to unpack for me,” Cloud said, now a former Corporal in the Midgar Infantry, “I don’t have that much stuff.”

“I don’t mind,” Sephirorth says, “I guess I’m a little excited to have company.”

“I’m not sure how long I’m going to stay,” Cloud said. Sephiroth twined his fingers with Cloud’s. 

“You could stay forever and I wouldn’t mind,” he said. Cloud giggled at that and opened his second and final box. 

But then the boxes were gone and both of them were on the bed. They’d done a lot of kissing and a bit of heavy petting…but really that was it. Sephiroth really didn’t know what he wanted out of Cloud in bed. He was more than happy just sitting and talking to Cloud for hours. Not that he wasn’t attracted to Cloud like that. 

It wasn’t as if he wasn’t sneaking his hands up Cloud’s shirt. Suddenly Cloud pulled away. Sephiroth blinked. 

“Sorry,” Cloud said, “Sorry. You shouldn’t have to feel that.”

“Feel what?” Sephiroth asked, it hadn’t felt strange. 

“The scars,” Cloud said. 

“Scars?”

“From surgery,” Cloud said, looking away, “they healed up fine but-“

“Cloud,” Sephiroth said, “I don’t care about that. I have all sorts of scars on me.” To prove his point Sephiroth pulled off his shirt. Cloud stared at him for a long time. 

“Fuck you’re hot,” he finally breathed out. Sephiroth lost it for a moment. He snorted. Cloud loved getting that sound out of him and it momentarily knocked him out of his funk. 

“It’s just…I used to have breasts,” Cloud said, “and they’re…proof of that.”

“Can I see?” Sephiroth asked. Cloud didn’t say no. Instead he very slowly started undoing his top. He seemed so ashamed as it slid off his shoulders, otherwise it would have been a bit sultry. 

Cloud looked muscular, smooth pale skin, dotted with afew freckles stretched over his abdominals and chest. The scars he was talking about werethin half moon lines just under his pectorals. He might not have noticed them unless he had looked for them. He was far too preoccupied trying not to drool over seeing Cloud half naked. 

“You look…better than my dreams,” Sephiroth said. 

“Quit joking,” Cloud said. 

“I mean I did have some fantasies but most never got this far,” Sephiroth said, “but this is so much better.”

“Stop it,” Cloud said slapping Sephiroth’s shoulder lightly. 

“You’re really hot,” Sephiroth said. 

“Stop,” Cloud said, laughing now. Sephiroth wrapped his arms around Cloud’s torso. 

“You’re man enough for me,” Sephiroth said, “and I think I might love you.” Cloud touched his forehead to Sephiroth’s. 

“I think I do too,” he said.

* * *

Sephiroth laid down on his couch watching Cloud play some sort of video game. He made it look so easy. It was mesmerizing watching him go.

“You know I haven’t…done stuff down there,” Cloud said suddenly, “I’m not really sure if I want to change. At least not yet.” 

“Mmm,” Sephiroth acknowledged. 

“That’s not a dealbreaker either is it?” Cloud asked, “Probably should have asked before I moved in.”

“No,” Sephiroth said, “I don’t know what orientation I am…but so long as it’s you I am attracted like a magnet.” Cloud smiled and leaned down more. 

“You know the only other person I came out to was my Ma,” Cloud said, “she took it just as good as you did, said she loved me and just wanted me to be happy.”

“I like your mother,” Sephiroth said, “I want you to be happy too.”

* * *

Sephiroth decided he regretted letting Cloud move in. Not because he wasn’t in love with Cloud anymore. He knew there were bumbs, habits to get used to, routines to be established. In fact, he liked the idea of living with Cloud forever.

What he did regret…was Cloud’s constant reminder that working with ShinRa made him miserable. 

“They don’t really seem to care about you,” Cloud said more than once after hearing Sephiroth complain about the latest meeting. And Sephiroth had no defense. When Angeal and Genesis both started literally falling apart…it was about damage control. When a mako reactor went out of control it was about hiding the accident. When someone under his command died on a routine mission…it was about blaming the poor man for his own death. 

And Sephiroth was having trouble thinking that they wouldn’t do the same. If he died, they’d try to profit off the tragedy. If he defected…maybe they’d do the same. 

He regretted that Cloud showed him he had to do the one thing he was scared to do. 

But as he scanned his resignation, Sephiroth just felt determination. He was done. He wasn’t going to be here anymore. 

He’d go take a ride on Fenrir.

* * *

Sephiroth was wearing a tank top and cargo pants. It wasn’t fashionable, but it was sturdy. He had a pack on his back and was refilling a canteen one more time at a water fountain. He had retired exactly three minutes ago. Cloud watched Sephiroth throw his PHS into the water fountain in the lobby, then tell the receptionist that he was sorry but he was no longer reachable…at least until Monday. Then he would be on another Continent.

He watched Sephiroth twirl his hair up so he could fit it inside the helmet Cloud offered. Then Sephiroth slid on his signature coat, careful to keep it out of the way of Fenrir’s wheels. He sat on the back of the bike and waited for Cloud to finish tying up the rest of their stuff, and Zack’s huge goodbye present in the cargo bins. 

Cloud pressed a very nice kiss to Sephiroth’s face before climbing on. Mostly because he was still on an emotional high after reading Sephiroth’s letter explaining that he was going to travel the world and support his _boyfriend’s_ business. That he was done and any attempt to fix SOLDIER or the infantry was too little, too late. 

He decided he didn’t regret doing this at all. 


End file.
